I like my sex mixed with concussions.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
