it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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