I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
