I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
