i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
