Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
