My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
