don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
