We're like a lot better than the average bears
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
