Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
