I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
