Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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