he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
