All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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