you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
