I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
