butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
