would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Less talking, more tequila
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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