oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
