Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
