Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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