My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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