man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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