how can u be prego again
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
