A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
nutella sex= disaster
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
