i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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