I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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