K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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