time to smoke my breakfast
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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