Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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