It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
