She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
