not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
