Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
