So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just had sex bonerless
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
