thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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