saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
