What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
