Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
