I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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