Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
