No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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