No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
