whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
