I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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