my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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