Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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