Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
