Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
