ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
